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Mindfulness and Wellness

5 TFM - Befriend your Inner Voice

First read the General Instructions. Click here.
(and for Main Introduction, Click here)

Here’s a breakdown of 12 months of Mindfulness And Wellness specifically for the 5th Transformation: Befriend your Inner Voice.

This Transformation aims for self-understanding. The goal is to foster acceptance of both the Voice of Insecurity and the Voice of Security, recognizing their inherent presence within oneself.

Important Note: The distinction is that Transformation 5 is about accepting it, and

  • builds on all previous Transformations: disregarding and even soaking in the negativity (Transformation 1, Ignore the Voice of Security), and entertaining it (Transformation 2, Use the Voice of Insecurity for amusement and inspiration), and boosting positivity (Transformation 3, Let the Voice of Security be your guide), just acting (Transformation 4, Act despite the Voice of Insecurity.).

Important Note: Since Transformation 5 emphasizes understanding, acceptance, and building a harmonious relationship with both the Voice of Insecurity and the Voice of Security, the exercises aim to foster a compassionate, non-judgmental approach towards all aspects of one’s internal thoughts and feelings.

Additional Considerations:

  • Progression: There is a natural progression within these themes, moving from understanding and self-compassion towards greater trust, action, and an embrace of the full spectrum of experience.
  • Adaptability: You can choose exercises that feel most relevant to your situation. You or your inner voice coach might adapt these based on your specific needs.
  • Combination: Ideally, these exercises complement the learning and work done directly with inner voice coaches in Transformation 5, creating a holistic approach to befriending one’s inner voices.

Select the current month to get your challenge.

Understanding Your Inner Critic

Topic: Recognizing the Voices

Exercise 1: Labeling the Voices – As thoughts arise, mentally label them as either “Voice of Insecurity” or “Voice of Security.” No judgment, just labeling.

Exercise 2: Voice Journals – Keep two separate journals, one for each voice. Spend time writing as if you ARE the voice, expressing its typical tone and messages.

Exercise 3: Voice Personification – Draw or visualize simple characters to represent each voice. This helps make them less abstract.

Building Self-Compassion

Topic: Meeting Your Inner Critic with Kindness

Exercise 1: The Compassionate Letter – Write a letter to your Voice of Insecurity as if writing to a scared, hurt child. Acknowledge its fears and offer reassurance.

Exercise 2: Affirmations from Security – Choose affirmations reflective of your Voice of Security. When negativity arises, repeat these affirmations back, like a strong friend offering support.

Exercise 3: Body Awareness – When harsh criticism arises, notice physical sensations. Soften those areas with intentional relaxation and gentle self-touch.

Finding Gratitude Amidst Challenges

Topic: Appreciation Beyond the Positive

Exercise 1: Thank You, Critic – After a negative thought, try to find something about it to be grateful for (e.g., “This shows me I care about this topic”).

Exercise 2: Opportunity Scavenger Hunt – Spend one day identifying the hidden opportunities, lessons, or growth potentials even within your self-criticisms.

Exercise 3: Strength in Shadows – Write down a difficult experience. Then focus on the strengths you developed BECAUSE of that challenge.

Cultivating Inner Dialogue Playfulness

Topic: Befriending Through Humor

Exercise 1: Exaggerate and Re-Frame – Turn a negative thought into an absurd exaggeration. Follow with a positive spin on the same issue.

Exercise 2: Silly Voices – Read aloud your Voice of Insecurity in a funny, cartoon-like voice. Then respond with your Voice of Security in an encouraging, warm voice.

Exercise 3: Inner Voice Comic Strip – Draw a short comic about a silly conversation between the two voices. Humor lessens the power of negative thoughts.

Mindful Embodiment

Topic: Your Body as an Ally

Exercise 1: Grounding Through the Senses – When anxious, focus on: 5 things you see, 4 you hear, 3 you can touch, 2 you smell, 1 you taste.

Exercise 2: Movement with Intention – Do gentle movement (walking, yoga), focusing on how good it feels to care for your body, rather than focusing on appearance.

Exercise 3: Breathing with the Voices – Notice how your breath changes with each voice. Don’t alter it, just observe.

Self-Acceptance in Action

Topic: Choosing Actions Aligned with Values

Exercise 1: Values Inventory – Brainstorm a list of your core values. Rank them in importance.

Exercise 2: Decision Through Values – Before a choice, ask “Does this action align with my top values?” Let that, not fear, guide you.

Exercise 3: Imperfect Action Celebration – Do something you fear, even if imperfect. Reward your effort, not success by traditional standards.

The Power of Perspective

Topic: Stepping Outside Yourself

Exercise 1: The Witness Position – Imagine watching a stressful situation between yourself and someone else as if you were an outside observer.

Exercise 2: Advice to a Friend – Write down your struggle as if a friend came to you with the same issue. What advice would you offer?

Exercise 3: “Bigger Than This” – When lost in negativity, look at nature or a wide view. Remind yourself you are part of something vast, easing the grip of worry.

Embracing Your Whole Story

Topic: Integration and Self-Narrative

Exercise 1: Your Timeline of Strength – Draw a timeline of your life. Mark challenges, but focus on how you overcame or grew from each one.

Exercise 2: Inner Team Meeting – Visualize both voices at a table. Facilitate a discussion where they learn to work together.

Exercise 3: The Re-write – Write a short scene from your past where insecurity dominated. Then re-write it, letting your Voice of Security step in too.

Releasing Judgment

Topic: Compassion for All Parts of You

Exercise 1: Exploring the Roots – When a harsh judgment appears, ask yourself: “Where did this belief come from? What experiences created this?”

Exercise 2: The Young Self – Imagine your inner critic as a younger version of you seeking comfort. Respond as your adult self, with warmth and understanding.

Exercise 3: Judgment Tracker – For a day, note ANY judgments you have – about yourself, others, anything. Then analyze for patterns.

Inner Harmony in Relationships

Topic: Befriending Your Triggers

Exercise 1: Identifying the Triggers – Notice what types of interactions typically trigger your Voice of Insecurity. Journal about them.

Exercise 2: Understanding the Trigger – After a triggered moment, explore: “What is THIS situation reminding me of from my past?”

Exercise 3: Secure Communication – Before a difficult conversation, visualize your strong, centered Voice of Security leading the interaction.

Building Inner Trust

Topic: Celebrating Small Victories

Exercise 1: The Victory Jar – Keep a jar where you write down even small accomplishments, moments of resilience, or when you acted with kindness despite fear.

Exercise 2: Past Victories Timeline – Create a visual timeline focusing on times you were brave, overcame challenges, or simply tried.

Exercise 3: Voice of Security Cheer – When completing a task, instead of downplaying it, let your inner Security voice offer enthusiastic praise.

Embracing Your Ever-Evolving Self

Topic: Befriending Impermanence

Exercise 1: The Changing Self– Review old photos, journals, or artwork. Notice how you’ve changed. Accept that this process will continue.

Exercise 2: Gratitude for the Journey – Write a letter to a younger version of yourself, acknowledging their struggles, celebrating their growth, and expressing hopes for the future.

Exercise 3: “Impermanence” Meditation – With eyes closed, repeat the word “impermanence.” Notice the thoughts and feelings arising, then subsiding, reflecting the ever-changing nature of yourself and the world.